Mental health problems: children 3-8 years

Signs of mental health problems in children

Children often have ups and downs that affect the way they feel and behave. But sometimes children don’t ‘bounce back’ from the downs, and this starts to affect other parts of their lives. This can be a sign that children are having mental health problems.

Below are signs of mental health problems. If you notice any of these signs in your child, and the signs go on for more than a few weeks, it’s important to talk with your child and then get professional help.

Emotional and behaviour signs
Your child:

doesn’t seem to enjoy things the way they used to
has a lot of tantrums or consistently behaves in a defiant or aggressive way
seems sad or unhappy, or cries a lot
is afraid or worried a lot
gets very upset about being separated from you or avoids social situations
starts behaving in ways that they’ve outgrown, like sucking their thumb or wetting the bed
has trouble paying attention, can’t sit still or is restless.

Physical signs
Your child:

isn’t sleeping well or oversleeps
has difficulty getting out of bed
has trouble eating or overeats
has lost or gained a lot of weight
has physical pain with no clear medical cause – for example, headaches, stomach aches, nausea or other physical pains.

School and social signs
If your child is at school, you might also notice your child:

isn’t doing as well as usual at school
is having problems fitting in at school or getting along with other children
doesn’t want to go to school
isn’t doing what their teacher asks
has withdrawn from their friends
doesn’t want to go to social events like birthday parties or usual activities like sport.

Good mental health helps your child develop socially, emotionally, cognitively and physically. You can support your child’s mental health with positive relationships, behaviour support, a healthy lifestyle and more.

Talking with children about mental health problems

If you notice a sudden change in your child’s mood or behaviour, encourage your child to talk with you about their feelings, and then listen to what they’re saying. Listening and showing that you care can comfort your child if something is bothering them. And this might be all the help they need.

If you’re not sure how to talk with your child about mental health problems, here are ideas that might help:

Tell your child that you’ve noticed they seem sad and you want to help. Your child is more likely to talk openly with you about their feelings if you’re accepting, non-judgmental and calm.
Tell your child that it’s not unusual for children and adults to feel worried, stressed or sad sometimes.
Tell your child that sharing thoughts and feelings can be scary, but talking about a problem with a trusted adult might help.
Let your child know that you care for them and you’re ready to listen whenever they want to talk.
Ask your child what they think might help them feel better. This can help you give or get your child the right support.

If you can, it’s important to work out the cause of your child’s low mood. Is it a speciﬁc, temporary situation, or is it a more serious, continuing problem? This can help you decide how best to help your child.

For example, if your child is disappointed about not being invited to a birthday party, you might show empathy by listening to your child’s thoughts and feelings. But if your child is experiencing a serious problem like bullying, you need to work with your child’s teachers to sort it out.

Poor mental health is no-one’s fault, and no-one is to blame.

Getting help for children’s mental health problems

It’s important to get professional help as soon as possible if the changes in your child’s mood or behaviour:

last for more than a few weeks
are distressing your child
are affecting their relationships with family and friends
are affecting their ability to do everyday activities and enjoy life.

There are various professional support options, including:

your child’s teacher at preschool or school, or a school counsellor
your child’s GP or paediatrician
a psychologist who’s trained to work with children and families
a mental health social worker
your local children’s health or community health centre
your local mental health service.

If your child is aged 5 years or older, they can also talk with a Kids Helpline counsellor by calling 1800 551 800 or using the Kids Helpline webchat counselling service.

If you don’t know where to find the most appropriate services for your family, your GP is a good place to start.

It’s important to get support for yourself at the same time as supporting your child with their mental health problems. This is especially important if you’re parenting with a mental health condition. You can find support options on our mental health links and resources page. You can also call a parent helpline.

Childhood mental health conditions

If your child’s mental health problems are interfering significantly with their life, a qualified professional like a clinical psychologist might diagnose a mental health condition.

Childhood mental health conditions are usually grouped into:

conditions like depression and anxiety disorders
conditions like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder.

You can read more about how to recognise childhood mental health problems and conditions and seek help in the following articles: